A letter to Dan

Sweetheart,
I love you so much. And I'm sorry that things have been so crazy lately. I've been paying a lot of attention to the baby, and I've let our relationship take the backseat. But no matter what happens, or what it seems like, I love you more and more every day. I am so grateful to you for everything that you do for me, and for our family.
Today when I woke up, you were bringing groceries in. And as I was still staggering around, trying to wake up without waking the baby, you got together stuff for lunch that was delicious. And knowing how much I like fruits and vegetables, you brought home more produce than anything else.
I can't even begin to count the number of times lately that I've been up all night and you took charge of caring for the boy so that I could get a little sleep. I know that's been happening a lot lately as Nate goes through growth spurts and all he wants to do is eat and eat and eat all night long.
You put off studying this weekend so that we could spend time with my Dad and brother. Even though you needed to get homework done, I wanted to spend Spencer's birthday with him, so we all went to the movies. And you stayed up Sunday night until 4am getting all your homework and studying done. You work so hard to do well in all your classes so that you'll be able to get your degree and find a good job that will provide for our family.
We have known each other since we were 14 years old. And no one knows me better than you do. When I was going through the typical teenage girl's drama with my mom, you were always there to hold my hand, and give me a shoulder to cry on. And I had more fun just sitting on the front porch swing after school with you than I would think likely. We had classes together, and study times that were more socialization than studying. No matter what I thought, or what the little voice in my head said, you never let me think bad things about myself. I had real self-esteem issues, but you refused to let me think I was worthless. The day we met it was the first day of the new semester, and I was sitting at my desk in Spanish class, crying. You could have chosen any other seat in the room. But something made you stop, and not only did you sit next to me, you talked to me too. Helped me pull myself together enough to get through the class. Poor guy, you had no idea what you were getting yourself in for.
And all through high school, you were the constant in my ever changing life. And you perpetuated some of those changes yourself. I started going to Seminary. And I LOVED it. But at the same time, I didn't like it much because of the choices I was making. So you helped me try to make changes. And every time I fell back into my bad habits, you were disappointed, but you still liked me, and you still tried to help.
Fast forward to after your mission. You knew that I had gotten marred, had a child and that I was neck deep in my old bad habits. You knew that I had made some bad choices and I was in a crappy place in my life. When you found out that I had left Joel, you called me up, and we met to talk. Like old times. I remember little from that night. I remember that I was terrible to you, and I said horrible things to you. I tried to push you away because I was convinced that I was a terrible person and I didn't want to drag you down with me. As usual, you refused to give up on me, and you refused to share my view of myself as a terrible person, and lost cause.
Now we've been married a year and a half. We have a beautiful, sweet little boy who looks just like his Daddy. And I have never been happier. You still make my heart jump a little when you smile at me. I still feel safest when you're arms are around me. And even when I'm at my lowest, and I start to think I'm worthless again, you still make me smile and laugh. You still make me feel good about myself.
I promise that now and forever, I will love you. And that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing will ever change that.

With a love that will never end, never diminish,

Rachel