Monday Morning Inspiration....for the Monday that falls in the middle of the week

So far I've been doing ok with this whole weekly thing, but having trouble with the Monday part. Oh well. Here we go again
on your mark, get set, scripture flip
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hmm..I got the topical guide...let's try this again
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on your mark, get set, scripture flip (again)
1Nephi 19:13
"And as for those who are at Jerusalem, saith the prophet, they shall be scourged by all people, because they crucify the God of Israel, and turn their hearts aside, rejecting signs and wonders, and the power and glory of the God of Israel."
We all know that the people who were at Jerusalem, and who crucified Christ were the Jews. Now think back on all the history lessons you've forgotten from high school. Since the crucifiction, the Jews have been driven out of their ancestral homeland; wandered around Europe; been the vicitms of so much prejudice that a new word was invented for it: anti-sematic; then there was the Holocaust during WWII and even today Jerusalem is dead center in the middle of a great deal of turmoil-both political, and also violent, war-like.
To make this more personal, how do we, in our own lives turn our hearts aside, rejecting signs and wonders? How often do we blame God for the bad things in our lives, and credit good luck for the rest? And when we transgress, every sin we commit, every profane word to exit our lips; every impure thought in our minds; every slanderous and gossipy thing we say; every unkindness; every commandment we break-all of ut adds up. And Christ suffered for all of it. So when we make bad choices, not only we and our loved ones pay, but Christ was crucified and suffered for it. And we can wipe that tally clear through the gift of the Atonement, but if we don't then all that stuff that has been adding up will cause us to be the ones who are scourged and who suffer at the Judgement Day.

The great big heaping bowl of crazy that is me!

The title of this post really gives an accurate description of how I'm feeling these days. What with all the crazy drama in the Talahongva family, and Dan and I getting through our first year of marriage, and coming up on the year anniversary of Devon and Emma's accident, and to top it all off, these lovely pregnancy hormones that make me go from clinically depressed to giddy schoolgirl in under 6 seconds. I have to say though, Dan has been a real trooper through it all. Weather it's apologizing for putting the grapefruit on the wrong side of the fruit bowl and consoling me as I sob. Or maybe reasoning with me and trying to explain that no, there hasn't been anyone moving the walls so that I trip or run into things. Or covering up the mirrors in our room when I cry that my favorite pair of pants don't fit and my mirror images are mocking me. All in all, he's doing great. And when I lounge on the sofa and demand that he talk to and tell the baby how much he loves her (I really think it's a girl), he does it. He actually does it spontaneously at times now that he's gotten over his initial issues of thinking it was weird. He even shows interest the first two of three times I look up what to expect this week and tell him the same thing. Though he does point out that I've told him that three times. I love my husband, and I can't think of a single person I would rather be going through this with.

Can a non-human be considered a mistress?

This is directed at all the WOW wives out there. I have to know, do any other husbands get crazy obsessed with this silly, silly game? I mean, I walk in the door after a long, arduous night at work and give my sweetie a kiss; (naturally he's still up-it used to be because he waited up for me, but now he's blowing up eggs in palm trees and playing with his flying robot chicken) and when he asks me how my day was I make the mistake of answering. Little do I know that marika or jaladin will 'vent' him and that conversation will immediately take precedence over any boring thing I might say. After all, they have to be organized in their attack, otherwise the giant spider will kill them faster than they can rez and they won't get enough points to buy the really cool armor with the eyeballs on it, or the green flaming sword. And without that forget about ever getting a decent 5v team, apparently all the other people playing an online video game at 4am are very judgemental and laugh at people who aren't tiered or seasoned, or decked out, or whatever. And the best part is that you can type something in and the computer will tell you exactly how many hours of your life you have devoted to leveling, and getting your pet trained, and whatnot. Dan is currently declining my request to check out how many hours he's spent. But I know that it's measured in weeks, if not months.
Now I have to admit that I spend a fair amount of time on seemingly worthless pursuits, such as reading my Xanth novels-which are HI-LARIOUS- or blogging, or checking what to expect during this week of pregnancy for the fourth time this week. But I like to think that I can put these things down. I mean, I can quit any time i want to.
I don't know...maybe I'm being too harsh. But I have to admit that at times I am very, very jealous of the computer. Almost to the point where I would rather find him looking at scantily clad women than playing WOW when I see him sitting at the computer. And sometimes at night I have nightmares that he's leaving me for Aeragorn.
(OK, so I may have exaggerated that last part just a little)

My mom

As most people know by now, Dan and I will be welcoming a new addition to our family this fall. One person who doesn't know is my mom. I guess it just hasn't come up in conversation lately. Mainly because we don't have conversations. I haven't spoken to her since before Christmas-though I did get her a lovely sweater- and haven't had an actual conversation with her since a few days before Dan and I got married last year. Now I know that the mature, responsible, Christ-like thing to do is swallow my own anger/pride, knock on her door and have a face-to-face conversation (again, a feat not attempted since the wedding, though that one wasn't so nice...I did see the back of her head at one of Spencer's football games though) with her and let her know that her grandchild will be born.
However, I struggle to even keep a few resolutions, and this may be out of my Christ-like league. I can foresee a couple possible reactions from her:
1. She will get angry and yell (possibly call me a no so nice word that really wouldn't be appropriate since Dan and I are married, and no money was exchanged). She may call Danny the same loving term of endearment that she bellowed at our wedding, and ask if he's going to strike again.
or
2. She may decide just like that everything is forgotten, and she loves me, and she wants to be there. And the next time I piss her off, we get another lovely scene. Because in scenario two, the foundation for a relationship is very fragile, it's built on sand, not on a rock. So, a few years down the line when I think we're actually close, I get a few more months crying in a stranger's office as she jots down notes.
or
3. She says "so?" and slams the door in my face. Which, in spite of everything, is the worst possible case scenario. I guess that no matter what you never give up hope. I guess I just don't want confirmation that my own mother really doesn't give a tiny rat's behind. Actually that possibility scares me the most because the opposite of love is not hate~it's apathy.

You may ask, "Rachel, why are you so preoccupied with this right now? You have months to figure out what you want to do. You're only 8 weeks along, don't you have other things on your mind?"
The answer is: I think I'm supposed to be raising my Christ-like bar. I'm still pretty new to the Church, so I'm still having lots of new experiences. Like this past Sunday when I walked up to the front of the Chapel on a first Sunday of a month. And let me tell you, when I get a prompting that I need to do something that will help me grow, if I don't wanna (which I usually don't-spiritual growth is HARD!) I fight it. The moment we walked into the church building and I realized what day it was, I got a feeling I spent the rest of Sacrament meeting trying to ignore. But in the end, Dan and even the baby got in on the action, and I made the long, long, long walk to the front. And as I was talking about eternal families (a principal that I believe in deeply) I suddenly began to talk about my mom. And how we are lucky because families can be together forever. So death can't stop our relationships. We have eternity to wrinkle out our differences (I'm assuming worthiness here). And I actually brought up my mom and said it may take most of eternity, but I will have the chance to be close with my mom. I didn't even realize that I wanted that. But now I can't get the thought out of my head.
Crazy, huh? Well, I guess I can blame the pregnancy hormones for that!

Resoultions Update

Ouch, I was just re-reading some old posts when I came across this:

1.this year I will...keep in touch better. My goal is to call Grandma Adams at least once a month and my dad, sister, and in-laws at least once a week.
2.This year I will...always have my home clean enough to feel comfortable having people over. Regardless of how late I work, even if it means not being as critical and judging cleanliness so strictly.
3.This year I will...finish reading the Book Of Mormon with Dan. We've been reading since before we got married and at the rate we're going, Our yet unborn sons will be leaving or even coming home from their missions before we're done.
4.This year I will...Read the Sunday school lesson before it's taught. At least once a month.
5.This year I will...buy less for myself. I know I don't always need the new dress or shoes or shirt, etc. Even if it is super cute and even if it is on sale.
6.This year I will...continue to tell my husband every day how great he is and show him how much I love him.
7.This year I will not...be late to Sacrament Meeting. I will be there to sing the opening hymn...not just catch the end in the foyer. (or miss it altogether)
8.This year I will not...make jokes at my husband's expense, or repeat anything he wouldn't want said. I didn't even really realize I was doing this until he told me actually. But I want to stop NOW because I want Dan to know that I love and respect him and want him to be comfortable knowing that I'm not embarassing him.
9.This year I will not...be envious of other parnets and their families. Even when I see in the news or in magazines that parents are acting in an unfit manner.

I'm about 50% on 1, doing well on number 2 (now that Suzanne's here, lots more people come over anyway), hmmm, as for #3, I may have to wake Dan up right now and read till he goes to school. (We're still not out of 2nd Nephi). I haven't done 4 once yet, although 5 is going ok, and 6 is in the bag. I wonder if I was being overly ambitious with number 7; that one's not working out too well either. And on 8 I'm actually doing worse now than ever....but that's because Dan says and does more funny things now that I'm pregnant (like the whole 'fat with child' thing). But I do think that I've come a long way with number 9. Even though it still seems unfair that some people get to have their kids with them when they don't seem to appreciate them, I don't find myself crying in Ikea anymore, or yelling at magazines, or even aching when I see a child. I can see a family together and feel happiness for them that they get to be together, and don't begrudge others their happiness because of what's happened to me.
Wow, that's only 5 of 9 that I'm doing anything with. And 3 that I've made zero progress on. Well, I have almost another 10 months to go, so I guess I'll just have to step it up!

Monday-ish Morning Inspiration

Technically it isn't a Monday Morning Inspiration because it's 3:30am Tuesday. I was going to post yesterday, but I have a very good reason for not doing so. My scriptures were in my hady dandy scripture case that Sara made me for Christmas and they were waaaaayyy across the room and I didn't want to get up. Ok, so it's more of a lame reason, but better late than never.
On your mark, get set, scriputure flip~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
1Corinthians 1:19
"For it is written, I will destroy the wisom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent."
Any knowlede that we have comes from God. And all truth comes from God. So if we try to gain wisdom without the knowlege/help from God, we're not going to get far. And our understanding, if built on a shaky premise will all come tumbling down. In the end, man's logic is nothing compared to the knowledge of God.

What smart women my cousins married

You guessed it. I'm PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Danny and I are so so so very excited. And the funny thing about it is that we found out just a few days after I posted about how I wasn't pregnant, but everyone kept asking. Though I do have to admit to feeling quite a bit of pity for Dan. After all, Suzanne is staying with us right now, and Sara (his sister) is just two weeks further along than I am, so he's surrounded on all sides. He cracks me up because every time Suzanne thinks something sounds tasty, no matter how normal and not craving-y it is, he turns to me and asks if I want it too. Anyway I'm not too terribly far along, just under 2 months, so I've got lots and lots of time to do updates. Not like with Devon where I didn't tell till 2 months before he was born!