Bittersweet

Yesterday was the day. It was actually not as hard as I thought. I remembered back to birthdays and birthday parties of the past, and summoned happy memories to banish the bad. Like two years ago when we had his party at a park near our house. Joel didn't reserve the ramada, and it was crazy busy that day, but in the end we did find a grill near a picnic table; we just had to run to walmart and buy a dozen folding chairs while frantically calling our parents asking them to bring chairs too. And Devon and my little cousins had a blast on all the playground equipment and I bought two loaves of day old bread for them to feed the ducks. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of that because well, they were all in the Corolla and my mom has that now. But it was still fun. And Frank and Kamarah stopped by. At the time I didn't understand why Frank was wearing a suit at 3 o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. Of course I realize now that the first Saturday in April is general conference and he was probably coming from that, or going to Priesthood session.
And last year's party was, interesting to say the least. Dan was there, and Frank, Kamarah and Chloe-that's when I found out that Maelee was on the way-And Mandi even made it. And since it was the day before Easter, Mom had flown out, she was there for my divorce on Monday too. And Sara and Kami and Emma came too. That's actually when my mom and her sisters met Dan again and so graciously acted like stuck up, mean crazy people. Sara told me later that she had never been so universally hated by people who had never met her before. But Devon had fun. He and Emma and Jo-Bob played with the Cars ramp and the bubble machine. He was confused by the fact the "La Gran" was so upset when he went to hang out with Grammy, but in the way of three-year-olds, he shrugged it off as adult craziness and went to play with the kids. Dan and I got him a pinata, and a foam baseball bat to break open the pinata with, and later that night he hit Dan with it too. Needless to say, that did not go over well. But he had fun, and lots of it. So in the end, I guess it doesn't really matter what grown up issues there were because his party was still awesome.
This year would have been a Ninja Turtle theme and might even have been held at jeepers or something so that I wouldn't have had to clean up afterwards. Dan and I probably would have gotten him a little toy guitar so he could practice with daddy, and a tricycle or a little bike with trainers. Probably a little bike. Emma would definitely have been invited, along with any of his friends from 'school' and probably little cousins as well. But we would have had it next weekend b/c of Conference. He still would have gotten a cupcake on his actual birthday though. I don't know exactly what would have happened, or how his little personality would have developed over the past year, but it's fun to imagine sometimes. One thing is for certain though, my mom wouldn't have been invited. Just kidding........kind of