Sympathy

I feel like lately I've been so wrapped up in my own issues that I haven't been as sensitive to the needs and pain of others. I know that Sunday was a hard day for people other than myself. I found out that my sister in law Cristi was having a bad day and when she drove by Sara's house and saw our car out front, she said she just knew she couldn't come in. I know that Dan and I could have been more understanding with her. The last time we talked to her was when we told her that we are expecting. I tried to be understanding and break it to her gently since I know how hard it's been for her emotionally because she and Matt haven't been able to have a baby yet. And she was supportive. But she got upset with Dan because of something he said, and she's been hurt and upset with us ever since. He didn't mean to, but he offended her when he asked if they had considered adoption. He wasn't trying to hurt her or anything, but I know that she felt that it was an invasion of her and Matt's privacy. But I honestly have no frame of reference to understand the true depth of her pain. I don't know what it feels like to want a baby of my own and to ache because of the emptiness of my arms. The closest that I can come to relating is wishing so badly for my son to be back home with me. But even though he was taken from me so painfully and so suddenly, at least I got to have him.
It's hard to truly understand the pain of another unless you've experienced it yourself. I know that when I tell stories from my childhood a lot of people who truly love me, and care about me and want to help, have no frame of reference. After all, how can you know what it's like to be told you were an accident and should have been aborted-or to have to be careful of what you wear so that the bruises or welts don't show-if you've never experienced it yourself? I just wish that I could connect with her and figure out how I can be there for her and help her without inadvertently offending her. Cristi was one of my best friends in high school and I'm not sure how or when we drifted so far apart. I do kind of wish that she had stopped in Sunday. After all, helping others takes your mind off your own pain. And service makes you feel better about yourself. I really wish that Cristi had dropped in, it would really have helped take my mind off Devon. And I wish that she felt like she could count on her family to be there for her. I've tried over the years, but not as hard as I could have I know. I just wish that I could find a way to connect with Cristi and help her to see what a sweet person she is, and to help comfort her as she tries to adjust to Heavenly Father's timeline when she wants so badly for things to follow her own. I guess I really just wish that she didn't feel like she had to lash out and isolate herself. I wish she knew how much we all love her.