Recognizing blessings

I feel that this is important to post because I think that way too often in life, we overlook the little blessings that come from obedience. At least I do. You may remember the cute little bassinet that I found on Craigslist and was trying to talk myself into buying in a previous post. Well, I finally managed to talk myself into it on that Sunday, but I decided not to call about it because it was Sunday. But, when I went to look up the posting bright and early Monday morning, it was gone. And I was heartbroken, so I turned to my husband for solace and comfort. He's a good guy, but at the time I didn't want to hear "I'm sorry honey, but you did the right thing and you'll be blessed for keeping the Sabbath."
I did decide at that moment that I really wanted a bassinet, otherwise I wouldn't have been so devastated that I missed out on that one, so I continued to scour Craigslist and a few days later I found another listing. As it turns out, it was the same bassinet that I saw originally, but it was $25 now instead of $45. And as we were heading home from picking it up, I turned to Dan and said those three little words every man wants to hear: "you were right"
The funniest part is that he had no clue what I was talking about, so I had to remind him of his words of comfort to me. Then he smiled to himself and said, "hm, I'm pretty smart" and commented on how he was proud of me for remembering that and for recognizing the blessing and being grateful for it.
Because seriously, we can say things like that as much as we want, but unless we actually see and recognize the blessings that we do receive, no matter how small, or easily overlooked they may be; we're never going to show the gratitude that we should feel from being rewarded for making good choices. If I hadn't realized that good things came from not calling on Sunday, then the next time, maybe I would have thought that it wasn't worth it to wait.
And I know that it may seem like I'm blowing this into a way bigger deal than it is, but I'm trying to get back into mommy-teaching mode so that I can raise another happy, grateful little boy who takes 5 minutes to say his 'thank yous' then goes straight to "Jeese Chrise, men"
(Not to mention that I myself can always use another refresher course on gratitude!)

just another late night rambling

It's 1:15 on a Thursday morning. I have a final in 11 hours. I have to call to have the truck towed to the shop in 7 hours. I really should be asleep right now. I had a full day, not only did I go all the way to the distribution center to get new garments for Dan and myself, I also drove to Ikea and went to the grocery store for fruit. For some reason I just can't get enough fruits right now. In the past two days I've eaten over half of a huge Costco package of cherries, and about a third of a huge Costco pack of strawberries. And today alone I've had 4 nectarines, a plum, an avocado, a Naked juice, a berry smoothie, and a couple hand fulls of cherries. I actually didn't even plan to go to the store today, but as I was driving past Sunflower farmer's market I had the uncontrollable urge to stop and stock up on all the delicious fruits inside. I guess that's a good thing. Devon only wanted chocolate, but Nate is more into the healthy stuff. Speaking of Nate, he's the reason I'm awake right now. For the past hour he has been kicking, and moving, and pushing from the inside out. He finally settled down a little, and I thought I would get to bed when he started moving again. Not a big movement, just enough to notice it. And rhythmic too. That's when I realized that he probably settled down for the night, but now he's got hiccups! So at the moment, I'm weighing the pros and cons of even trying to get to sleep since I know that in about 45 min I'm going to be up again anyway to go to the bathroom. Seriously, there were a lot of aspects of pregnancy that I did not remember until I was going through them again! I don't mean to complain though. I'm happy to be pregnant, and I can't wait to see Nate, and to be able to hold him in my arms and show him the world and all the wonderful things in it-well, maybe not all the wonderful things, stuff like swimming pools can definitely wait! I'm glad that Dan and I have the blessing to restart our family, it just hasn't felt right since Devon's been gone. And I can't wait to have another little one running around, seeing how much mischief he can get into. I'm just done with this whole pregnancy thing. It'll be nice when I can sleep through the night again instead of waking up every hour and a half, two hours to go to the bathroom, or to deal with a leg cramp. Even though I know I'll still be waking up every couple of hours with a newborn, at least it's not for an issue that causes me physical discomfort. I'm also looking forward to being able to see my own feet again. On any given day I couldn't tell you if I'm wearing my black shoes or my brown shoes unless I get really lucky and actually remember what I put on an hour ago, or if I'm sitting down with my legs in front of me. It will also be awesome when I can fit into my shoes. At the moment I fit exactly 2 pairs of shoes, one brown one black-and they're a full size bigger than the other shoes in my closet. I actually don't mind that I don't fit any of my regular clothes, my maternity stuff is super cute, and I love it. Some of the dresses I may even be able to wear when I'm not pregnant anymore. Although I will enjoy being able to wear pants/skirts/capris again. Nate does NOT like anything cutting into his "area" and when he's not happy, he usually finds a way to make sure that I know it.
I am also looking forward to not being a complete hormonal wreck all of the time. Tonight I got mad at the dog for sleeping under our bed (that is actually valid, she drags bones and stuff under and I hate to clean it up-and she snores and it's creepy in the middle of the night, and I got her her own little bed with her own little pillow that she only uses about half the time) Anyway, I got mad and chased her out from under our bed, telling her to sleep in her own bed. And I came out into the living room to get support from Dan, who by the way does not care at all where Princess sleeps, and told him that I had had enough of "that dog" and that he needed to deal with her. Long story short, Dan told me I was overreacting and that it wasn't a big deal where Princess sleeps-I ended up sobbing, accusing Dan of wishing he hadn't married me, yelling that it was too late because we're married, sealed, and having a baby and he should have thought about that sooner, and questioning how we were going to raise our children if he couldn't back me up on something this simple. I think I also pointed out that to get "that dog" out from under our bed I had to lie on my stomach and poke her with a broom handle. That turned into Dan caring more about "that dog" than me and the baby. And I think I also said something about the dog already trying to hurt the baby, so how were they going to interact once he's born, and asking if Dan was still going to take the dog's side. Because if it came down to it I was going to choose the baby over him and "that stupid dog" I would never admit it to him, but Dan is right, and I get kinda crazy over the stupidest things. For instance, when I was looking at cribs to try and figure out which one I want for Nate, I saw the picture for a convertible crib that was made up as the full sized headboard and rejected it. I liked the way it looked, and I loved the crib, but when I saw it as a full size bed I thought that it looked like the kind of furniture that would be in the room of a teen or young adult of questionable moral standings. And I told Dan that I didn't want my baby to be tempted to 'make bad choices' because of the crib that I picked out for him. I don't even remember why I thought that it was inappropriate as a headboard, but I spent the next few hours trying to engage Dan in a conversation about how we were going to raise our children so that they make good choices, and what we would do, and how we would still be supportive if they made bad choices. Dan was not as concerned. He just kept pointing out that Nate isn't even born yet, and in any case it's a crib and Nate won't still be using it into his teens. And that even if he is using it as a headboard in his teens, what kind of girl, no matter how loose her morals is going to want to entice our son to make bad choices in a crib? For anyone else, it would be the completely wrong thing to say, but somehow Dan diffuses my overreactions by putting his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye and saying "Honey, you're being crazy" I honestly don't know why that works; I think it may be because it makes me laugh and then I have a much harder time freaking out or being mad. I honestly don't understand how I ended up with such a great guy. He puts up with a lot from me, and he takes good care of me. Though it is kind of annoying when he sends me to bed-I may be sleepy and need the rest, but I don't necessarily want to be told to go to sleep! And no matter how ridiculous I'm being or how much I'm overreacting, or how upset I am, he knows how to settle me down, and how to make me laugh, and how to make me feel better. He's cute too. Today I was sewing in our room and he surprised me by bringing me a strawberry, topped with whipped cream. And he puts my sodas in the fridge so they're cold, then bring me one without being asked. He also makes me drink water because he knows how cranky I get when I don't. And sometimes when he thinks that I'm asleep, he leans over, kisses me on the forehead and whispers 'I love you'

Random Funnies

I recently came across something that I just had to share with the world. A month or two ago, Dan and his brother Ryan were spending a LOT of time playing Mario Kart on the Wii. The following are real, actual quotes that in the heat of racing were shouted out in my living room. Some of Ryan's were really funny because he was trying to quickly substitute the expletives in his vocabulary-which I appreciate.

"That's the gayest gay I ever gayed"
"Strategically placed bull crap"
"Way to drift, no drift"
"pow em, Pow em, POW em good!!"
"You didn't stay crunchy in milk"
"I'm being gayed very badly right now"
"On the bridge is a great place to drop your banana"
"They're gaying me all over the place, man"
"You're a fool".."a delicious fool"..."he's got a point there"
"Just stay sexy, it's all you need to do"
"I'm a rocket man"

With the exception of "he's got a point there" (that was directed at me, because apparently I seemed to doubt that Ryan did in fact have a point about being a delicious fool), all these comments were made by brothers, addressing each other. Which is what makes 2 of the last 3 comments even funnier in my opinion

Now I know that I can't just tell funnies about Dan and let myself off the hook...that's just not nice. My funny involved a twist on the classic "my dog ate my homework" excuse. Tomorrow is the biology final, and all of our online activities and quizzes were due last night by midnight. So the professor had all of our pre-final scores available, and a bunch of people saw her after class to get their grades. So, in front of the crowd of students, I have to ask my question about my grade. You know that it's going to be rough when you start a conversation "I know this sounds stupid, but..." Last night while I was doing one of the chapter quizzes, my kitten ran across the keyboard and submitted it when I was only 4 questions in. I got a 16% on that one. After everyone finished laughing, and commenting on how that's an original one, the teacher agreed to use the grade from my second attempt on that one. I think the worst part about it was that after I said it was going to sound stupid, Dan stated loudly that it sounded stupid because it was stupid.

should I or shouldn't I?????

here's my latest predicament...Ever since I've seen my sister's super cute and awesome bassinet that she has for Baby Lilly, I have changed my way of thinking. I used to think, what a waste-it's just an extra piece of furniture that takes up space and can only be used for a few months anyway. But seeing Lilly and her bassinet, I want one for Nate now. I see how useful it is for Suzanne, and how Lilly can nap, and Suzanne can wheel her from room to room. And I think I would like to have Nate have his very own little bed in our room so that I don't have to get up and walk all the way down the hall in the middle of the night. I've been browsing Craigslist because that's my newest obsession, and I found this:





Now, is this or is this not the cutest ever? I love that it's a gender based, but it's not overly little boyish. And it's cute and frilly without being over the top. The best part about it though is that it's only $45!

And now that I've seen it, I want it....I want it bad. My only problem is that I can't quite seem to talk myself into it yet. As you can see from my last post, I don't really have a lot of space in our bedroom, but I still want it. And, to get a little bed thingy that has walls so that the baby can sleep in bed with us safely would cost about $50, so this is really more econical. Not that I really need either. After all, Devon slept in bed with me without all that new-fangled, family bed safety stuff and he turned out just fine. Ok, let me rephrase that. He never had a problem or safety issue in that aspect.

I think that I will end up getting it, as long as no one else snatches it up before I get tired of trying to talk myself into it. I just need help convincing myself I guess.

A day in my life:

I just know that everyone out there in Internet land is dying to know what, for me, makes an exciting Saturday. So I decided to post today's events.

1:30am-I realize that it's 1:30 in the morning, and the friendly people at Oasis Bedroom never called to tell me when they're coming.

2:00am-I realize that they're probably coming in the morning, before 11 and that I should get to sleep.

3:00am-I finally put down my latest cross stitch project and turn off the light.
3:30am-I finally turn off the tv and go to bed.

8:30am-I ignore the alarm going off until Dan gets up and shuts if off (it drives him way more crazy than me, so I can usually out wait him)

10:39am-the people from Oasis Bedroom call saying that since they can't get anyone to answer the door, they're leaving and want to know when I want to reschedule
10:40am-I am dressed and running to the door!

~~~~~from this point on, I have pictures to more vividly chronicle the remainder of the morning

As you can see, Dan and I had to quickly get everything off the floor while the guys were backing up their truck. And the bathroom area was the easiest to cram stuff into. Unfortunately for Princess, when I asked Dan to get the animals out of the way, he thought the bathroom would be a good place for her, so she was the last to be freed.

the kitties were a little luckier, they got the closet. But as you can see, Felix was already plotting her escape. For some reason, none of the animals like to be confined. The cats, for instance, love to get into my closet and bat at the ties on my dresses, or long skirts, or Dan's ties. But when we put them in, and shut the door, they cry like they've been beaten.**

**no kitties were beaten during this or any other process

As the kitties were crying, and contemplating escape, and Princess was waiting patiently for her own release, the burly, tough, and helpful Oasis Bedroom guys were setting up our awesome new furniture!

Before we knew it, our room was all put together (just ignore the stuff that's still in the bathroom area) and it was time to free the critters.

"Hey, I think I found a way out"

"Hurry, let's make a break for it. Here she comes again!!!!"

Both Felix and Snowball were much happier to be playing again, but Felix still kinda looks suspicious of me.

3:15pm-I turn to Dan and say "promise me"

"promise what?" "just promise" "tell me what" "PROMISE!" "OK, I promise" "YAY!!!! Let's go to the Temple" "that's what I promised?" "yup" "why wouldn't you just tell me? I would have said yes" "it's more fun this way"

At which point, Dan rolled his eyes at me, and started changing into nicer clothes.

3:30pm-off to McDonald's for our traditional pre-Temple snack (every time we've gone we've stopped McDonalds on the way)

3:45pm-Baptisms!!! (I had never done them before, and Dan hadn't done baptisms in about 7 years)

5:30pm-All done-with warm, fuzzy, happy feelings.

7:00pm-off to the game store to pick up a brand new board game because we're geeks like that and a wild night for us consists of snackies, Hogan's Heroes playing on the TV, playing board games till we're too tired to keep our eyes open. (Or at least until I'm too tired to keep my eyes open)

Memories

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

Baby stuff

Dan and I are getting really excited about the baby, and we've been busy getting things ready for his arrival. Last week Danny actually braved his worst nightmare and came with me to Joann to pick out the fabric for Nate's bedding set. Let me just say, that was an adventure. Dan doesn't quite get the concept of matching fabrics (by color, pattern or even weight-trying to pair a light cotton print with a flannel). And he doesn't see the necessity of patterns. He seems to think they're mainly suggestions and can be easily altered or even ignored.
We've also been busy assembling our teddy bear pirate crew. So far we have bears, a dog, an elephant, a monkey, a frog and a lion. And Dan has been making rudimentary sketches for the wall mural. He's got a pirate ship, an island with a treasure chest and palm tree, a whale, a shark, a sea monster and who knows what else before all is said and done. I can't wait til we have a place of our own and can actually paint the nursery however we want to! In the mean time, we got some toy pirate ships and Pirates of the Caribean action figures to use as decorations in his room, and as toys when he's big enough to play with them.
The only thing is that Dan is starting to get kind of jealous because Nate's wardrobe dwarfs his own. He pointed that out as I brought home yet another stack of adorable outfits for Nate. Actually, Nate has more closet space than Dan, and he was using Dan's unused space on his side of the closet until that ran out, and now I'm trying to find another place to put Dan's clothes. That's when Dan drew the line and said no more.

running, but not getting too far

I guess I just need to vent a little bit right now. I'm just getting so sick of Arizona. And the valley. It's always been home to me, and other than the 2 years I spent in Flagstaff, the farthest I have ever lived has been Alma School/Elliot in Chandler to Dobson/University in Mesa. So I've been here literally all my life. My 2 siblings, 5 of my cousins, my son, my niece and I were all born at the same hospital in Phoenix. This has always been my home and I've never been able to even contemplate leaving.
Until now...I'm just sick of it. I made an overly dramatic comment to Danny today and was laughed at for it. Not that I can really blame him...I said that it feels like Arizona is sucking out my soul. In hindsight, it really is a ridiculous thing to say...but that's how I was feeling today. I'm just so tired of living here. And maybe it's just me trying to run away, but I want to get out of here. I'm sick of turning on the radio and hearing about the pool fence give away and how you can nominate someone who needs a new pool fence. Or hearing a firefighter give the drowning statistics and plead with parents to "watch your kids around water." The worst radio ad is the one where the little girl talks about what she wants to be when she grows up. She sounds like a happy little girl, full of life and energy. Then a serious adult voice comes on and says "don't destroy her dreams, watch kids around water." I hate that one the most. It's like saying that parents who have suffered the loss of a child to a pool drowning have somehow deliberately set out to crush their child's dreams and ambitions. I mean, seriously, who comes up with this crap? Or the billboard with a smiling little boy sitting on a pool deck, being checked out by a paramedic with the caption that reads "we got lucky...this time."
And my dad knows that I've been looking into buying a house right now, so when the house on the corner of his cul-de-sac came up for sale, he let me know. It would be really cool to live there, it's just four doors down from his house so Nate could see Grandpa and Uncle Spencer all the time, and I grew up in that cul-de-sac (from age 7 to 18), and the last people who lived there added an RV gate and did some outside renovations that look really really cool. Plus, the inside is pretty nice too. But it has a pool in the backyard. And that's just not something I'm down with right now. I just feel like I need to get away. And I know, I've heard over and over again that after an emotionally traumatic life changing event you shouldn't make any big decisions for at least a year. It's been 15 months now and I still want to get away. The worst part is that I know that by next summer Nate will be at least somewhat mobile. He won't be able to unlock deadbolts or open pool gates like Devon could, but he will be able to get around on his own-at least to some extent. And I don't know that I can actually handle another summer here. I mean, it's bad enough that I see and hear all this crap right now. I just don't want to deal with it when I have a little baby too.
I just don't feel happy here anymore. It's great when I can get out of town, like going to Grandma's house, or visiting Dan's family in Illinois. When we were out in Illinois a couple of weeks ago I felt great. But it was like a weight came down on me as soon as we got off the plane in Phoenix.
Don't get me wrong, there's lots of good things about Phoenix. I know that if I left I would miss my Dad and Spencer. And especially Suzanne and baby Lilly. And I would be really disappointed not to be able to go to the Adams family campout every year. On the other hand, I'm tired of the Talahongva drama too. Mom and I still aren't talking, and I know that Florine would just as soon spit on me as say hello. Patty's cool, but not a really big part of my life. And today when I went to visit Suzanne, Sarah and Monica took off as soon as I got there. I haven't been out to the reservation since the funeral, and I really don't have much desire to. I guess I'm just feeling like there's not a whole lot holding me here anymore. It used to be home, the place I was familiar and comfortable, the place my whole family is, and I would never have dreamed of leaving or going too far away to be able to visit the reservation. I always said that I would never move out of state, or if I did, the farthest I would go would be one of the four corner states. But I want to get away. I don't know if I'm trying to run away, or just to start over.

Whew, what a week!

And here I thought that I was going to have a relaxing, slowed down less hectic time now that I'm on leave, just sitting around, going to Biology, catching up on all the deep housecleaning and naps that I haven't had time for. Boy was I wrong!
As I said earlier, baby Lilly had to go back to the hospital for a fever and jaundice and what not. Well, she still isn't out yet because they found out that the cause of her fever was that she has a UTI and they wanted to keep her on antibiotics and under observation. So, we've been visiting Suzanne and Lilly a lot, and I've got to tell you that little girl is ADORABLE!!!!!
Also, Dan and I finally got rid of the horible medievil torture-like mattress that has been inflicting horrendous ammounts of pain and discomfort on us for the past year. And while we were at it, we got a whole new bedroom set! But it got help up in the shipping so we don't get it for another week. Wow, it's sad that the highlight of my week was my new mattress being delivered...that being said, we also have been moving a bunch of old Nana-furniture into storage to make room for our stuff that's coming in. So, Dan, the man in physical therapy for a weak back, and I-the pregnant one who isn't allowed to work right now-had to enlist lots of help. Cristi and Matt came over and helped, but it was Spencer who really saved the day. He's a trooper. He ended up staying the night and helping again the next day-after playing board games with Dan and me all night!
What with all that going on, and the kitties going back into the vet for another ear mite treatment, and deciding for some crazy reason that since I'm home now I can make the baby's crib bedding, I've decided that it would have been more relaxing had I stayed at Pepsi!

SOOOO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't posted this yet for three main reasons.

1. I wanted to finish "the rest of the story"

2. Others needed an opportunity to be the first to say anything

3. it has been an insane, crazy, hectic week!

But the cool, exciting news is........

This is my niece, Lillian Eternity Serrano, at an impressive 3 days old. She was born at 8:20pm on Sunday, June 29th (hmmm, I know that day has some other significance....maybe Maylee can remind me) weighing in at 8lb, 3oz and measuring 21inches! My dorky sister didn't tell anyone she was even in labor until 8:30, at which point Dan and I raced to the hospital to see her. Isn't she precious????

She came home on Tuesday (again, I just got a text that afternoon saying btw, we came home this morning!) Ans she and her mommy were doing great!

The past few days have been a little less certain and more hectic though. Thursday morning as her parents were getting ready to take her to her first doctor appointment, she was running a fever. So I picked the little family up and took them in earlier than originally anticipated. The final diagnosis was dehydration (she was down a full pound!) and jaundice. So, she's been back in the hospital but she got a blessing, and lots of fluids, and lots of attention & love (all the nurses keep commenting on her, calling her a doll-not to mention Suzanne and Joe have been there talking to her, and using every opportunity to hold her and talk to her-also Dan and I have been in to see her everyday). Her Billie Ruben (jaundice) level went from 23 (yikes!) when she got there Thursday to just 9 as of Saturday morning, and Friday night she was back up to 8 pounds!

Right now we're all praying for a quick recovery so that Lilly can go home again with her mommy and daddy all happy, healthy and strong. Not that it would take much on the happy part. She doesn't even cry when they try to get blood samples, or cath her, she just doesn't like the goggles she has to wear in the incubator and tries to push them off!