Random Funnies

I recently came across something that I just had to share with the world. A month or two ago, Dan and his brother Ryan were spending a LOT of time playing Mario Kart on the Wii. The following are real, actual quotes that in the heat of racing were shouted out in my living room. Some of Ryan's were really funny because he was trying to quickly substitute the expletives in his vocabulary-which I appreciate.

"That's the gayest gay I ever gayed"
"Strategically placed bull crap"
"Way to drift, no drift"
"pow em, Pow em, POW em good!!"
"You didn't stay crunchy in milk"
"I'm being gayed very badly right now"
"On the bridge is a great place to drop your banana"
"They're gaying me all over the place, man"
"You're a fool".."a delicious fool"..."he's got a point there"
"Just stay sexy, it's all you need to do"
"I'm a rocket man"

With the exception of "he's got a point there" (that was directed at me, because apparently I seemed to doubt that Ryan did in fact have a point about being a delicious fool), all these comments were made by brothers, addressing each other. Which is what makes 2 of the last 3 comments even funnier in my opinion

Now I know that I can't just tell funnies about Dan and let myself off the hook...that's just not nice. My funny involved a twist on the classic "my dog ate my homework" excuse. Tomorrow is the biology final, and all of our online activities and quizzes were due last night by midnight. So the professor had all of our pre-final scores available, and a bunch of people saw her after class to get their grades. So, in front of the crowd of students, I have to ask my question about my grade. You know that it's going to be rough when you start a conversation "I know this sounds stupid, but..." Last night while I was doing one of the chapter quizzes, my kitten ran across the keyboard and submitted it when I was only 4 questions in. I got a 16% on that one. After everyone finished laughing, and commenting on how that's an original one, the teacher agreed to use the grade from my second attempt on that one. I think the worst part about it was that after I said it was going to sound stupid, Dan stated loudly that it sounded stupid because it was stupid.