just another late night rambling

It's 1:15 on a Thursday morning. I have a final in 11 hours. I have to call to have the truck towed to the shop in 7 hours. I really should be asleep right now. I had a full day, not only did I go all the way to the distribution center to get new garments for Dan and myself, I also drove to Ikea and went to the grocery store for fruit. For some reason I just can't get enough fruits right now. In the past two days I've eaten over half of a huge Costco package of cherries, and about a third of a huge Costco pack of strawberries. And today alone I've had 4 nectarines, a plum, an avocado, a Naked juice, a berry smoothie, and a couple hand fulls of cherries. I actually didn't even plan to go to the store today, but as I was driving past Sunflower farmer's market I had the uncontrollable urge to stop and stock up on all the delicious fruits inside. I guess that's a good thing. Devon only wanted chocolate, but Nate is more into the healthy stuff. Speaking of Nate, he's the reason I'm awake right now. For the past hour he has been kicking, and moving, and pushing from the inside out. He finally settled down a little, and I thought I would get to bed when he started moving again. Not a big movement, just enough to notice it. And rhythmic too. That's when I realized that he probably settled down for the night, but now he's got hiccups! So at the moment, I'm weighing the pros and cons of even trying to get to sleep since I know that in about 45 min I'm going to be up again anyway to go to the bathroom. Seriously, there were a lot of aspects of pregnancy that I did not remember until I was going through them again! I don't mean to complain though. I'm happy to be pregnant, and I can't wait to see Nate, and to be able to hold him in my arms and show him the world and all the wonderful things in it-well, maybe not all the wonderful things, stuff like swimming pools can definitely wait! I'm glad that Dan and I have the blessing to restart our family, it just hasn't felt right since Devon's been gone. And I can't wait to have another little one running around, seeing how much mischief he can get into. I'm just done with this whole pregnancy thing. It'll be nice when I can sleep through the night again instead of waking up every hour and a half, two hours to go to the bathroom, or to deal with a leg cramp. Even though I know I'll still be waking up every couple of hours with a newborn, at least it's not for an issue that causes me physical discomfort. I'm also looking forward to being able to see my own feet again. On any given day I couldn't tell you if I'm wearing my black shoes or my brown shoes unless I get really lucky and actually remember what I put on an hour ago, or if I'm sitting down with my legs in front of me. It will also be awesome when I can fit into my shoes. At the moment I fit exactly 2 pairs of shoes, one brown one black-and they're a full size bigger than the other shoes in my closet. I actually don't mind that I don't fit any of my regular clothes, my maternity stuff is super cute, and I love it. Some of the dresses I may even be able to wear when I'm not pregnant anymore. Although I will enjoy being able to wear pants/skirts/capris again. Nate does NOT like anything cutting into his "area" and when he's not happy, he usually finds a way to make sure that I know it.
I am also looking forward to not being a complete hormonal wreck all of the time. Tonight I got mad at the dog for sleeping under our bed (that is actually valid, she drags bones and stuff under and I hate to clean it up-and she snores and it's creepy in the middle of the night, and I got her her own little bed with her own little pillow that she only uses about half the time) Anyway, I got mad and chased her out from under our bed, telling her to sleep in her own bed. And I came out into the living room to get support from Dan, who by the way does not care at all where Princess sleeps, and told him that I had had enough of "that dog" and that he needed to deal with her. Long story short, Dan told me I was overreacting and that it wasn't a big deal where Princess sleeps-I ended up sobbing, accusing Dan of wishing he hadn't married me, yelling that it was too late because we're married, sealed, and having a baby and he should have thought about that sooner, and questioning how we were going to raise our children if he couldn't back me up on something this simple. I think I also pointed out that to get "that dog" out from under our bed I had to lie on my stomach and poke her with a broom handle. That turned into Dan caring more about "that dog" than me and the baby. And I think I also said something about the dog already trying to hurt the baby, so how were they going to interact once he's born, and asking if Dan was still going to take the dog's side. Because if it came down to it I was going to choose the baby over him and "that stupid dog" I would never admit it to him, but Dan is right, and I get kinda crazy over the stupidest things. For instance, when I was looking at cribs to try and figure out which one I want for Nate, I saw the picture for a convertible crib that was made up as the full sized headboard and rejected it. I liked the way it looked, and I loved the crib, but when I saw it as a full size bed I thought that it looked like the kind of furniture that would be in the room of a teen or young adult of questionable moral standings. And I told Dan that I didn't want my baby to be tempted to 'make bad choices' because of the crib that I picked out for him. I don't even remember why I thought that it was inappropriate as a headboard, but I spent the next few hours trying to engage Dan in a conversation about how we were going to raise our children so that they make good choices, and what we would do, and how we would still be supportive if they made bad choices. Dan was not as concerned. He just kept pointing out that Nate isn't even born yet, and in any case it's a crib and Nate won't still be using it into his teens. And that even if he is using it as a headboard in his teens, what kind of girl, no matter how loose her morals is going to want to entice our son to make bad choices in a crib? For anyone else, it would be the completely wrong thing to say, but somehow Dan diffuses my overreactions by putting his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye and saying "Honey, you're being crazy" I honestly don't know why that works; I think it may be because it makes me laugh and then I have a much harder time freaking out or being mad. I honestly don't understand how I ended up with such a great guy. He puts up with a lot from me, and he takes good care of me. Though it is kind of annoying when he sends me to bed-I may be sleepy and need the rest, but I don't necessarily want to be told to go to sleep! And no matter how ridiculous I'm being or how much I'm overreacting, or how upset I am, he knows how to settle me down, and how to make me laugh, and how to make me feel better. He's cute too. Today I was sewing in our room and he surprised me by bringing me a strawberry, topped with whipped cream. And he puts my sodas in the fridge so they're cold, then bring me one without being asked. He also makes me drink water because he knows how cranky I get when I don't. And sometimes when he thinks that I'm asleep, he leans over, kisses me on the forehead and whispers 'I love you'