Monday, July 28, 2008
I did decide at that moment that I really wanted a bassinet, otherwise I wouldn't have been so devastated that I missed out on that one, so I continued to scour Craigslist and a few days later I found another listing. As it turns out, it was the same bassinet that I saw originally, but it was $25 now instead of $45. And as we were heading home from picking it up, I turned to Dan and said those three little words every man wants to hear: "you were right"
The funniest part is that he had no clue what I was talking about, so I had to remind him of his words of comfort to me. Then he smiled to himself and said, "hm, I'm pretty smart" and commented on how he was proud of me for remembering that and for recognizing the blessing and being grateful for it.
Because seriously, we can say things like that as much as we want, but unless we actually see and recognize the blessings that we do receive, no matter how small, or easily overlooked they may be; we're never going to show the gratitude that we should feel from being rewarded for making good choices. If I hadn't realized that good things came from not calling on Sunday, then the next time, maybe I would have thought that it wasn't worth it to wait.
And I know that it may seem like I'm blowing this into a way bigger deal than it is, but I'm trying to get back into mommy-teaching mode so that I can raise another happy, grateful little boy who takes 5 minutes to say his 'thank yous' then goes straight to "Jeese Chrise, men"
(Not to mention that I myself can always use another refresher course on gratitude!)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
I am also looking forward to not being a complete hormonal wreck all of the time. Tonight I got mad at the dog for sleeping under our bed (that is actually valid, she drags bones and stuff under and I hate to clean it up-and she snores and it's creepy in the middle of the night, and I got her her own little bed with her own little pillow that she only uses about half the time) Anyway, I got mad and chased her out from under our bed, telling her to sleep in her own bed. And I came out into the living room to get support from Dan, who by the way does not care at all where Princess sleeps, and told him that I had had enough of "that dog" and that he needed to deal with her. Long story short, Dan told me I was overreacting and that it wasn't a big deal where Princess sleeps-I ended up sobbing, accusing Dan of wishing he hadn't married me, yelling that it was too late because we're married, sealed, and having a baby and he should have thought about that sooner, and questioning how we were going to raise our children if he couldn't back me up on something this simple. I think I also pointed out that to get "that dog" out from under our bed I had to lie on my stomach and poke her with a broom handle. That turned into Dan caring more about "that dog" than me and the baby. And I think I also said something about the dog already trying to hurt the baby, so how were they going to interact once he's born, and asking if Dan was still going to take the dog's side. Because if it came down to it I was going to choose the baby over him and "that stupid dog" I would never admit it to him, but Dan is right, and I get kinda crazy over the stupidest things. For instance, when I was looking at cribs to try and figure out which one I want for Nate, I saw the picture for a convertible crib that was made up as the full sized headboard and rejected it. I liked the way it looked, and I loved the crib, but when I saw it as a full size bed I thought that it looked like the kind of furniture that would be in the room of a teen or young adult of questionable moral standings. And I told Dan that I didn't want my baby to be tempted to 'make bad choices' because of the crib that I picked out for him. I don't even remember why I thought that it was inappropriate as a headboard, but I spent the next few hours trying to engage Dan in a conversation about how we were going to raise our children so that they make good choices, and what we would do, and how we would still be supportive if they made bad choices. Dan was not as concerned. He just kept pointing out that Nate isn't even born yet, and in any case it's a crib and Nate won't still be using it into his teens. And that even if he is using it as a headboard in his teens, what kind of girl, no matter how loose her morals is going to want to entice our son to make bad choices in a crib? For anyone else, it would be the completely wrong thing to say, but somehow Dan diffuses my overreactions by putting his hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye and saying "Honey, you're being crazy" I honestly don't know why that works; I think it may be because it makes me laugh and then I have a much harder time freaking out or being mad. I honestly don't understand how I ended up with such a great guy. He puts up with a lot from me, and he takes good care of me. Though it is kind of annoying when he sends me to bed-I may be sleepy and need the rest, but I don't necessarily want to be told to go to sleep! And no matter how ridiculous I'm being or how much I'm overreacting, or how upset I am, he knows how to settle me down, and how to make me laugh, and how to make me feel better. He's cute too. Today I was sewing in our room and he surprised me by bringing me a strawberry, topped with whipped cream. And he puts my sodas in the fridge so they're cold, then bring me one without being asked. He also makes me drink water because he knows how cranky I get when I don't. And sometimes when he thinks that I'm asleep, he leans over, kisses me on the forehead and whispers 'I love you'
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
"That's the gayest gay I ever gayed"
"Strategically placed bull crap"
"Way to drift, no drift"
"pow em, Pow em, POW em good!!"
"You didn't stay crunchy in milk"
"I'm being gayed very badly right now"
"On the bridge is a great place to drop your banana"
"They're gaying me all over the place, man"
"You're a fool".."a delicious fool"..."he's got a point there"
"Just stay sexy, it's all you need to do"
"I'm a rocket man"
With the exception of "he's got a point there" (that was directed at me, because apparently I seemed to doubt that Ryan did in fact have a point about being a delicious fool), all these comments were made by brothers, addressing each other. Which is what makes 2 of the last 3 comments even funnier in my opinion
Now I know that I can't just tell funnies about Dan and let myself off the hook...that's just not nice. My funny involved a twist on the classic "my dog ate my homework" excuse. Tomorrow is the biology final, and all of our online activities and quizzes were due last night by midnight. So the professor had all of our pre-final scores available, and a bunch of people saw her after class to get their grades. So, in front of the crowd of students, I have to ask my question about my grade. You know that it's going to be rough when you start a conversation "I know this sounds stupid, but..." Last night while I was doing one of the chapter quizzes, my kitten ran across the keyboard and submitted it when I was only 4 questions in. I got a 16% on that one. After everyone finished laughing, and commenting on how that's an original one, the teacher agreed to use the grade from my second attempt on that one. I think the worst part about it was that after I said it was going to sound stupid, Dan stated loudly that it sounded stupid because it was stupid.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Now, is this or is this not the cutest ever? I love that it's a gender based, but it's not overly little boyish. And it's cute and frilly without being over the top. The best part about it though is that it's only $45!
And now that I've seen it, I want it....I want it bad. My only problem is that I can't quite seem to talk myself into it yet. As you can see from my last post, I don't really have a lot of space in our bedroom, but I still want it. And, to get a little bed thingy that has walls so that the baby can sleep in bed with us safely would cost about $50, so this is really more econical. Not that I really need either. After all, Devon slept in bed with me without all that new-fangled, family bed safety stuff and he turned out just fine. Ok, let me rephrase that. He never had a problem or safety issue in that aspect.
I think that I will end up getting it, as long as no one else snatches it up before I get tired of trying to talk myself into it. I just need help convincing myself I guess.
3:30am-I finally turn off the tv and go to bed.
10:40am-I am dressed and running to the door!
Before we knew it, our room was all put together (just ignore the stuff that's still in the bathroom area) and it was time to free the critters.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
We've also been busy assembling our teddy bear pirate crew. So far we have bears, a dog, an elephant, a monkey, a frog and a lion. And Dan has been making rudimentary sketches for the wall mural. He's got a pirate ship, an island with a treasure chest and palm tree, a whale, a shark, a sea monster and who knows what else before all is said and done. I can't wait til we have a place of our own and can actually paint the nursery however we want to! In the mean time, we got some toy pirate ships and Pirates of the Caribean action figures to use as decorations in his room, and as toys when he's big enough to play with them.
The only thing is that Dan is starting to get kind of jealous because Nate's wardrobe dwarfs his own. He pointed that out as I brought home yet another stack of adorable outfits for Nate. Actually, Nate has more closet space than Dan, and he was using Dan's unused space on his side of the closet until that ran out, and now I'm trying to find another place to put Dan's clothes. That's when Dan drew the line and said no more.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Until now...I'm just sick of it. I made an overly dramatic comment to Danny today and was laughed at for it. Not that I can really blame him...I said that it feels like Arizona is sucking out my soul. In hindsight, it really is a ridiculous thing to say...but that's how I was feeling today. I'm just so tired of living here. And maybe it's just me trying to run away, but I want to get out of here. I'm sick of turning on the radio and hearing about the pool fence give away and how you can nominate someone who needs a new pool fence. Or hearing a firefighter give the drowning statistics and plead with parents to "watch your kids around water." The worst radio ad is the one where the little girl talks about what she wants to be when she grows up. She sounds like a happy little girl, full of life and energy. Then a serious adult voice comes on and says "don't destroy her dreams, watch kids around water." I hate that one the most. It's like saying that parents who have suffered the loss of a child to a pool drowning have somehow deliberately set out to crush their child's dreams and ambitions. I mean, seriously, who comes up with this crap? Or the billboard with a smiling little boy sitting on a pool deck, being checked out by a paramedic with the caption that reads "we got lucky...this time."
And my dad knows that I've been looking into buying a house right now, so when the house on the corner of his cul-de-sac came up for sale, he let me know. It would be really cool to live there, it's just four doors down from his house so Nate could see Grandpa and Uncle Spencer all the time, and I grew up in that cul-de-sac (from age 7 to 18), and the last people who lived there added an RV gate and did some outside renovations that look really really cool. Plus, the inside is pretty nice too. But it has a pool in the backyard. And that's just not something I'm down with right now. I just feel like I need to get away. And I know, I've heard over and over again that after an emotionally traumatic life changing event you shouldn't make any big decisions for at least a year. It's been 15 months now and I still want to get away. The worst part is that I know that by next summer Nate will be at least somewhat mobile. He won't be able to unlock deadbolts or open pool gates like Devon could, but he will be able to get around on his own-at least to some extent. And I don't know that I can actually handle another summer here. I mean, it's bad enough that I see and hear all this crap right now. I just don't want to deal with it when I have a little baby too.
I just don't feel happy here anymore. It's great when I can get out of town, like going to Grandma's house, or visiting Dan's family in Illinois. When we were out in Illinois a couple of weeks ago I felt great. But it was like a weight came down on me as soon as we got off the plane in Phoenix.
Don't get me wrong, there's lots of good things about Phoenix. I know that if I left I would miss my Dad and Spencer. And especially Suzanne and baby Lilly. And I would be really disappointed not to be able to go to the Adams family campout every year. On the other hand, I'm tired of the Talahongva drama too. Mom and I still aren't talking, and I know that Florine would just as soon spit on me as say hello. Patty's cool, but not a really big part of my life. And today when I went to visit Suzanne, Sarah and Monica took off as soon as I got there. I haven't been out to the reservation since the funeral, and I really don't have much desire to. I guess I'm just feeling like there's not a whole lot holding me here anymore. It used to be home, the place I was familiar and comfortable, the place my whole family is, and I would never have dreamed of leaving or going too far away to be able to visit the reservation. I always said that I would never move out of state, or if I did, the farthest I would go would be one of the four corner states. But I want to get away. I don't know if I'm trying to run away, or just to start over.
As I said earlier, baby Lilly had to go back to the hospital for a fever and jaundice and what not. Well, she still isn't out yet because they found out that the cause of her fever was that she has a UTI and they wanted to keep her on antibiotics and under observation. So, we've been visiting Suzanne and Lilly a lot, and I've got to tell you that little girl is ADORABLE!!!!!
Also, Dan and I finally got rid of the horible medievil torture-like mattress that has been inflicting horrendous ammounts of pain and discomfort on us for the past year. And while we were at it, we got a whole new bedroom set! But it got help up in the shipping so we don't get it for another week. Wow, it's sad that the highlight of my week was my new mattress being delivered...that being said, we also have been moving a bunch of old Nana-furniture into storage to make room for our stuff that's coming in. So, Dan, the man in physical therapy for a weak back, and I-the pregnant one who isn't allowed to work right now-had to enlist lots of help. Cristi and Matt came over and helped, but it was Spencer who really saved the day. He's a trooper. He ended up staying the night and helping again the next day-after playing board games with Dan and me all night!
What with all that going on, and the kitties going back into the vet for another ear mite treatment, and deciding for some crazy reason that since I'm home now I can make the baby's crib bedding, I've decided that it would have been more relaxing had I stayed at Pepsi!
Friday, July 4, 2008
This is my niece, Lillian Eternity Serrano, at an impressive 3 days old. She was born at 8:20pm on Sunday, June 29th (hmmm, I know that day has some other significance....maybe Maylee can remind me) weighing in at 8lb, 3oz and measuring 21inches! My dorky sister didn't tell anyone she was even in labor until 8:30, at which point Dan and I raced to the hospital to see her. Isn't she precious????
She came home on Tuesday (again, I just got a text that afternoon saying btw, we came home this morning!) Ans she and her mommy were doing great!
The past few days have been a little less certain and more hectic though. Thursday morning as her parents were getting ready to take her to her first doctor appointment, she was running a fever. So I picked the little family up and took them in earlier than originally anticipated. The final diagnosis was dehydration (she was down a full pound!) and jaundice. So, she's been back in the hospital but she got a blessing, and lots of fluids, and lots of attention & love (all the nurses keep commenting on her, calling her a doll-not to mention Suzanne and Joe have been there talking to her, and using every opportunity to hold her and talk to her-also Dan and I have been in to see her everyday). Her Billie Ruben (jaundice) level went from 23 (yikes!) when she got there Thursday to just 9 as of Saturday morning, and Friday night she was back up to 8 pounds!
Right now we're all praying for a quick recovery so that Lilly can go home again with her mommy and daddy all happy, healthy and strong. Not that it would take much on the happy part. She doesn't even cry when they try to get blood samples, or cath her, she just doesn't like the goggles she has to wear in the incubator and tries to push them off!