I met a new person today. Her name is Jane, and she's dating my dad. She is really nice, and pretty, and she likes the Tinkerbell store, and she has a cute purse, and she's a twin, and she's bad at playing pool. But the best thing about her is that I can't remember the last time I saw my dad so happy. Honestly, for that alone, she could be a serial killer and I would like her.
In other news, we decorated the Christmas tree today. Nate and Lilly were so much fun to watch. Lilly went out of her mind when she saw the tree all lit up. And they both got to put a couple of unbreakable ornaments on the tree. It was bittersweet. On the one had, it's nice to share these experiences with Nate. But on the other hand, I miss Devon so much. He would be 5, almost 6 years old now. I hung his racecar ornament from 06. And his snowglobe ornament from 08. And it hurts me that I have nothing for him from 07.
When Jane got to the house, Dad was showing her around, and pointing out the pictures on the wall. It was all smiles and jokes until we got the the Devon pics. No one said a lot about those pictures. I just said, "that's my boy" and got a huge lump in my throat and walked away.
This Christmas I have so much to be grateful for, and I know that I have been blessed in my life in so many different ways. But I also feel like I've been cheated. All these memories are incomplete. Someone is missing.
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2 comments:
I am so sorry that you lost Devon. It has been 13 1/2 years since I lost Matthew and I still feel the hole in the fabric of our family. I try not to think about it too much, but holidays are harder.
heart you. That's it. I am pretty sure that Devon and Em are around, maybe closer than we realize. Feeling your pain today.
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